‘Government names next five universities ministers’

Did you spot our April Fool: Plans to welcome back two erstwhile two-time former ex-ministers?

Amid uncertain times, the UK government has taken the unprecedented decision to appoint the next five universities ministers now, meaning institutions now know which MP will oversee higher education for the next 18 months.

Plans seen by Research Professional News from the Department for Education say current minister Michelle Donelan will remain in post for two more months, before handing over to two-time former universities and science minister Chris Skidmore.

Right after Skidmore finishes his third term after five months, former universities and science minister Sam Gyimah will return to the brief he held from January to November 2018. After three months, two-time former universities and science minister Jo Johnson will take over from Gyimah for a month.

It is planned that he will then hand the role back to Skidmore for a week.

Lastly, Donelan will become the third two-time universities minister in three years as she returns to the post she currently holds for a seven-month stint. 

Former and current ministers all insisted their appointments showed the government’s commitment to achieving an R&D spend of 2.4 per cent by 2027, and levelling up left-behind regions.

“OK. No change there then,” said a spokesperson for the Higher Education Policy Institute. 

Outlining the plans, Boris Johnson, the prime minister, said he hoped that by committing to randomness, the higher education sector could be certain that despite the ongoing challenges facing universities, guidance from the top would remain “as consistently inconsistent as ever”. “Hoc est iocus est in April et spero eam vos facit ridere,” he added.

Late last night, sources suggested that plans were being put in place to make this ministerial merry-go-round a long-term feature of the UK higher education sector. “OK. No change there then,” said the spokesperson for the Higher Education Policy Institute.